Sunday, September 2, 2018


I'm not sure whether i still know how to do this, but i'm going to give it a shot.

I saw this meme recently, and it inspired me to say some stuff.

A quick disclaimer:  i didn't take this picture, and i didn't create this meme, and i don't know who did.  I do know that i have seen this picture with various captions in various places on the internet, so i don't think it's under copyright, but if it is, i will be happy to give credit to whom it is due.  It's a great picture!

Let me ask you something.  Do you think that the tall dog is a more praise-worthy dog than the little dog?

I mean, the tall dog can probably run faster, jump higher, and obviously wade through mud puddles with less-overwhelming mud-staining than the little dog.  So obviously the tall dog is a better, harder-working, better trained, dog, right?  You can tell because he's taller than the little dog, right?

Does that sound silly?

Let me ask you something else.  Do you ever put yourself down because your natural talents and abilities don't match someone else's?  Do you compare yourself to others and make judgments about your own worth based on that comparison?

Isn't that ridiculous when you think about it?

Can you imagine if the little dog in this picture came to you feeling depressed and inferior because he couldn't stay as clean in the puddle as the big dog?

Would that ever even happen?!  No, of course not!

These two dogs aren't worried about who is what size!  They're just happy to be running through the mud puddles together!  The little dog doesn't have any control over how tall he is, and the big dog doesn't have any control over how long his legs are.  They were made by their Creator to have certain natural attributes, and they're different because they were made that way!

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Take Comfort and Fair Warning

I have read Proverbs 16:9, approximately 1.4 gabatrillion times (or something like that).  I remember posting it on my bedroom wall as a teenager, not entirely understanding what it meant.  But then, when do we entirely understand the meaning of any scripture?

This morning, i opened the Bible reading app on my phone, and the verse of the day was Proverbs 16:9, "the mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."

And then i burst out laughing.

If you've read my blog (back when i wrote it in more than twice a year), you know that the super hero and i have had lots of plans that haven't exactly come to fruition.

I imagine in my mind, a child of God who has prayed things like, "Lord please have your way in my life," and "please make me more like Jesus," in their walk of life, going to God for direction, and the Lord pointing His child down what appears to be a fairly enjoyable path, knowing full well (because God knows everything) that once His child has gotten thoroughly started down that path, a mountain is going to inexplicably plant itself top side down, directly in the way of what the child thought was the path he was to walk.

This might sound like i'm telling you that God is cruel and kind of a trickster, but that's not what i'm saying.  See, the Father knew about the mountain.  He knew about the mountain before the beginning of your life, before you were planted in your mother's womb.  And that ... that is a comfort to my soul.

A few minutes after i had burst into laughter over this literal proverbial warning, i was weeping in gratefulness to God that He is so good.  So good that he has been preparing me my whole life for the things that i will face, that He may or may not let me in on what's coming, and that i can take so much comfort in knowing that because He has plans for me for good, to prosper me, to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), that i can happily and easily trust Him with whether and what i need to know about what is to come.  It's such a place of perfect peace in the midst of what might appear to others to be calamity, but isn't.

If God were to tell me ahead of time all the things that i will face, i might be tempted to choose another path to avoid the mountain, or the hill, or the fire, or the lion.  But if the Father points me down a path where i will face the lion, then it is because He knows that He has prepared me to face the lion, and that facing the lion will make me stronger and more ready for the next challenge i will necessarily face in order for Him to answer my prayer to make me more like Jesus.

See how that works?

If we could understand this scripture closer to the beginning of our walks with the Lord, it might come with flashing lights and sirens.....WARNING  WARNING WARNING:  PLUMMETING MOUNTAINS, ANGRY LIONS, AND FOREST FIRES AHEAD!!!!!

But in the exact same message, take comfort, follow peace, because the good Father is at work in you to will and to work according to His good pleasure (Phillippians 2:13), i.e., to have His way in your life, that thing you asked Him for.

His perfect love is incomparable and intricate and complete.

Take comfort and fair warning:  you will make your plans, and they will probably be interrupted and possibly obliterated, but the Lord knew, and He will guide your steps.

Happy New Year!

Sunday, May 14, 2017

not a mom, but maybe amazing

Before i say anything, i want to say that what i am about to say is not meant to be a slight or an insult toward anyone in the whole world.

Here goes...

Today is Mother's Day.

I have always loved Mother's Day because it is a great time for me to give special shout-outs to one of my absolute favorite people in the universe, my mom.

The impact that my mom has had on my life is profound.  But i'll get all gushy and snotty nosed if i go into that right now, so i'll forego for the time being.

In recent years, Mother's Day has taken on a throbbing pain sort of element for me, as i am advancing on my mid-forties and am childless, and as my husband's mother has gone from this life to the next.

But this is about me, not her.  Not right now anyway.

Really wonderful, nice, kind, people don't want you to feel left out about anything.  So when you're not actually a mom, and Mother's Day rolls around, and they want to be able to tell you, "Happy Mother's Day!" because it's a holiday, and you're female and all, and they want you to feel happy and not left out, they say things that are meant to comfort you and make you feel included.

Things like, "well, you have a mother's heart, and that's what counts." Or, "you're a mommy to your chickens..."  Etc.

But here's the thing...

First of all, i eat my chickens, so let's be careful about the parallels we draw to my relationship with my livestock.

And secondly, i am not a mom, but i have one.  I have a really really good one.  And the thing i know about a mom is that her job is day in and day out, forever.  For as long as i live.  I am on the downhill side of 41 years, and i know that if i need my mom any time day or night, she's there for me, still.  I'm her kid, and she's my mom.  She's also my friend, and i am hers.

But as for me, i have not given life to a child, given a home to a child, or earned by day to day trial and sleeplessness, and constant prayer, and concern, and research and worry and more prayer and so on, the honor of being called a mom to anyone.

And it's OK!  I'm not saying it's my favorite thing.  It's sad.  It's something i always thought i would be and am not.  It's something i have grieved bitterly.  I do not know why God did not choose, one of the thousands of times i begged for His intervention, to cause the miracle of conception and child birth to happen in my womb.

But i am still not a mom.  And giving out the mom trophy to all the females of reasonable age to possibly be a mom, is, to my heart, a way in which the honor rightfully bestowed upon all the beautiful, wonderful mothers, who have given life, or who have taken lives into their home and given them an upbringing and safety and care, is compromised.  And i don't want that.  I want them to be rightfully honored.

I read one of these feel-good memes on Facebook or somewhere today, on Mother's Day, and it said something about how being a mother is loving someone selflessly with all your heart.  But that's not true.  That's called being a good friend, possibly a really good friend, or a best friend, and it certainly goes a long way toward helping you to be a good mom, if you are a mom.  But it doesn't, on its own, qualify anyone to represent themselves as being a mother.

Being a fantastic caregiver to dogs and cats and chickens and ferrets, or what-have-you, also does not make you a mother.  Not really.  It probably means you're a really nice, caring, kind person who enjoys caring for animals, but it doesn't make you a mother.  And that's ok too.

Let me explain a little more, ok?  Will you keep reading please?

Wanting to make women feel included and appreciated is a good thing.  But let me tell you something:  something important happened in my life when i started to grieve not being a mother.  I allowed myself to be open to whatever else God might have in mind for me.  Some of my biggest heroes of history never gave birth to a soul, but they still impact my life today.  They weren't mothers.  But they were AMAZING!

I want to be free to be amazing.  But as long as i am longing to be something i am not, or calling myself something i am not, instead of moving forward and learning to be what God wants me to be, i am cheating myself, and i am cheating the purpose of God,and i am cheating those whom He means for my life to benefit.

Maybe God will still use me to be someone's mother.  I don't know.  My job isn't to know.  My job is to be the clay.