Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Catching Up

About church:

This past sunday, I woke up feeling either sick or depressed or possibly both. At any rate, I did not go to church. Instead, I yelled at my husband and went back to bed. I later repented of my yelling ways, apologized to my very understanding, kind, and wonderful husband, and improved my attitude.

Oh, also on Saturday, I had a big day planned with my very good friend, Meredith, and I skipped women's group for friend time, which was quite nice. I am, however expecting my copy of Tim Storey's “My Utmost,” by mail any day now.

I hope to return to women's group this Saturday, but my hopes may be further postponed, since my husband's mother and step-dad may be visiting from Houston.

My plan (If the Lord wills) for this Sunday is to visit the same church again but to go to another church afterward. The first church usually lets out by 10 or 10:15, so I have plenty of time to take in another service.

The second time that I went was nice. The man preaching was very patriarchal, and I liked him. He said that he is the pastor of the parent church's parent church. His message was simple and encouraging and unquestionnable. I also learned that the music service is so short because the leaders leave to lead another service where the aforementioned patriarchal gentleman pastors.

About the little red building:

It's gone. On Saturday and Sunday, my loving and very industrious man brought the old building completely to its end. All that remains now is rubble which we are working to carry by wheel barrow trips to the very stinky fire. This evening we were rid of the broken down appliances that were inside the little building. Oh, - flashback- when James was moving the stove, a big grey rat jumped out. I saw it first, so of course, I screamed. I believe that's my responsibility, isn't it? Anyway, James didn't know why I was screaming, so he screamed too. Haha! I've never heard him do that before. It was great. Anyway, the rat immediately burrowed itself in the rubble, so we (James) had to dig around and find it and scare it away into the woods before we could continue our work. I really dislike rats.

About me:

I've been discovering new things about myself. I spent several days last week digging up and compiling genealogy information. I had so much fun! I stayed up most of the night but still awoke the next morning filled with energy and gumption. This is similar to the enjoyment I get from putting things in order. I love to diagram sentences. I love to sort things. I'm weird that way. It really just tickled me silly to take a big pile of assorted diapers at Meredith's house and sort them all by size. Ridiculous enjoyment.

Also, i've always thought that I liked routine. I don't think that's true. I think I really like to do something different almost every single day. Now that there isn't much to dictate my schedule, i'm pretty non-routine with most things. I like little routines though – like every weekday at 6pm, I watch “King of the Hill”. But as far as what I do each day.......i can't seem to force myself to do it the same way twice. So i'm going to try to let God show me how He wants to use that. I remember when I finally yielded to the realization that (don't laugh – o.k. you can laugh) God made my hair messy and maybe I should stop trying so hard to tame it – that I became a lot more pleased with my hair (and spent a lot less time trying unsuccessfully to tame it). Maybe i've been locking myself into a routine life all these years when God has been trying to show me that He wants to use me to do things that aren't so routine. We'll see.

About sappy deep stuff:

I think my personality profile might include something about it being difficult to get to know me. I think that should reword that. It's difficult to get to know me in the traditional manner. Some people seem to get to know each other by asking each other questions and telling each other about themselves....or something like that. But for me, the relationships that count...they grew from time spent together. As a girl, I always wanted to be like my mom but couldn't tell you exactly what that meant. That's because my mom's not a big talker. She's there to be known and to know and to love and be loved, but she doesn't say a lot. My dad said he prayed for a daughter who would be like her mother. I've always believed that God granted just a part of his request. I'm a girl – but like my mom, not so much. My mom is quiet and kind and hard-working and thin and beautiful and very graceful and talented, unassuming, helpful, and kind, to name a few things. Oh and giving...after I left home for college, whenever I would see her, she would just give me anything she thought I needed – right off of her person. One time, while she and Dad were coming through the town where I went to college – on their way to someplace else, my mom saw that I needed a watch, and she just took hers off and handed it to me. Anyway, the point is, I could never really see any similarities between my mom and me. The similarities between my dad and me were obvious. When I was a teenager, and we would argue, Mom always said that when we were both saying exactly the same thing, but with different words. We have similar desires and similar emotions, and well, Dad talks plenty, so it's easier to learn about him without trying TOO hard. =) But I couldn't see any similar things with my mom except the brown hair.

Lately though, i've been noticing something new. The more I stop trying to be who I think I am and instead relax a little and try to see who God made me to be......well, i'm getting to know my mom better, by getting to know me. And i'm happily and timidly surprised to learn that I might be a little bit like my mom. It's little things like the enjoyment of baking – or crocheting – or putting things in order. (I asked her, and she says she really likes putting things in order too.) So i'm getting to know her by doing the things that we both enjoy. And when I do them, I can understand the enjoyment she feels when she does them. And it encourages me to think that the possibility remains that as I get older, I might become more like her. She's not God, but she has a lot of His attributes. And i'm pretty sure that He put her in my life to show me more of Him.

(For the record, my dad's no slouch either. On another post, i'll have to tell you about him.=))

About right now:

It's getting dangerously close to 1am. I'm glad I wrote. I hope you read. And I have a feeling that I will have more energy in the morning. But I better post before you decide to stop reading my blog.

1 comment:

  1. Beth, you are an adorable and wonderful friend to me.

    I enjoyed reading all of this - and know that you encourage and make me laugh.

    In response to your question earlier, this blog is perfectly spaced as far as formatting. The other one looks like it's in some other computer language or something, and a major part of the body is missing.

    I loved the part about God showing His love to you through the sun-set and you crying. It made me cry too, just thinking about it....

    I love Him as you do - and it's wonderful to know that He loves us so much more... just like we are...

    Have you read "Abba's Child" by Brennan Manning? I'm in the middle of it right now....


What do you think about that?