Here is a topic that has been tumbling about in my head for a goodly number of days, every since my friend, Jess, wrote this blog entry about marriage, "Kiss Dating Hello." I thought about excerpting it here, but you really just need to read it. Read the comments too. Go ahead. I'll wait.
O.k., good, now we can go on. Before i get started, please let me say that Jess is my friend, and this discussion is simply that. There is no ill will. I just think this is a topic worth discussing.
Is there only ONE person on this earth for you, in God's perfect will? Should you agonize over your mate, or just pick a good candidate and get it over with?
My friend, Kris, commented on Jess' post about how Christian circles tend not to bring up the possibility that God might have a life of singleness, fully devoted to HIM, in mind for you life, a subject that the apostle, Paul, did bring up. I think this is an excellent point. EXCELLENT point.
Here's my take on the whole thing, after days of tumbling it about in my head, i come to one thing.
The person you marry, if you do marry, will affect your life, and probably every decision in your life, for the rest of your life. Even if everything goes horribly wrong, and you are forced to be split apart from this person, you will have been deeply affected, for life. I think that this is the one decision that you should belabor endlessly, until you are so sure that you are in the will of God, that you can't deny it. Until you're so sure, that you are sure that you'll be sinning if you don't marry this person. Really sure.
Here's a little more of why: sometimes marriage stinks. No matter how good your marriage is, and i have a pretty stinking good one, sometimes marriage stinks. It's just the truth; ask any married person. If you have married, and you are unsure about whether you were in God's will, when things aren't as pleasant as you think they ought to be, you will question yourself. Did i marry the wrong person? Don't ever allow that. If you know that you know, from the beginning, then you'll know that God knew all the stinky parts of your marriage from the beginning. And you can walk through them to all the flowery parts.
If you have read this far in this post, and you are not someone who considers "God's will for your life" something to be considered, i have no advice for you. I have no idea how anyone's marriage is successful without God.
I knew my husband for ten years before i married him. And even then, it took two dreams and a vision, and a lot of prayer, to convince me that i should marry. And when i did marry him, i knew that i was doing what God wanted. I had complete peace ( i don't believe in cold feet ). I knew that i knew. And i know that i know, even when it stinks, that i was made for him, and him for me. And i don't think anyone should do it any other way.
That's just my take on it. I would love to read your opinions and thoughts on it.
Ready. Set. WRASSLE.