I realized today, this morning, during the upside of a long commute, which is the time for your mind to hear and clear, that i have forgotten an important lesson from my past.
Eight or nine years ago, we were living in the house that lovingly referred to as my "dream rent house." I loved the floor plan; i loved the location; i loved my plans for it; etc., etc.
This was the first "place of our own" after our first Texas rent house burned all the way to the ground, and i was well attached to it, so when my husband started mentioning thoughts of leaving this home, i rebelled loudly...on the inside, of course. Well, probably a little on the outside to. Yeah, maybe a lot on the outside.
After the insecurity of losing our home and depending on others for so many months, i had placed my trust in a location and a situation, things which, i should always know, can never be trusted.
In my distress, i began to bring my worries before God, who reminded me how temporal this world is and how finding satisfaction in things and earthly situations will always disappoint.
During this time, i even had a dream about having a house, full of beautiful, costly furniture that was a blessing and a gift from Him. In the dream, i was told to hold these things loosely, as with a cupped hand, ready to give or just release.
But lately i have found myself in lamentations, not the book, just the state. I have lamented not being home with my chickens and my things, i have lamented having no time to bake bread or can preserves. I have lamented the many hours spent away from my home and the subject of many of my "humble ambitions."
Today, i remembered a plaque I eventually nailed to the wall of my "dream rent house." It had a picture of a little spindly flower in a pot, and it said, "bloom where you're planted." This was my reminder that God wants me to flourish in every situation, and today it is my reminder that He doesn't want me to waste my time wishing i were someplace i'm not right now. He wants me to bloom wherever i am.
So even though it's pretty hard to be any more than just a wannabe farmer right now, i need to make the most of the time i have wherever i am, or i may someday lament the time i wasted, and the opportunities i missed while i was wishing i was someplace i had already been.