Wednesday, May 2, 2012

SO close

I know.

It's Wednesday, and i haven't written this week.

I know.

You know, i write because there are important people to me in this world who like to read it, and for other reasons, and also because writing is one of the things i, personally, need to do.  Some people need to dance.  Some people need to sing.  Some people need to run.  I need to write.

But this week, i have all sorts of conflicts and discussions and the learning of lessons, going on in my heart.  And none of them are ready to be written about.  Not here.  Not yet.

The good writings must be preceded by much pondering.  So maybe i have some good writings in my future.  Let's hope.

I will tell you this much.

I find it to be one of the greatest miracles on this earth that a human being, in a human body, can bequest the Creator for instruction and somehow receive communication from Heaven.  This is a truly grand miracle.  The signal is very often very fuzzy, but i can hear the message if i really listen closely.  And i think that the Lord really likes it when we quiet ourselves enough to listen closely.  Really closely.  Of course the signal is fuzzy because of our own noise, our will, our desires, our pre-conceived notions.  It's not fuzzy from God's end, though it is often quiet.  Just not fuzzy.  When there's no interference, whispers are clearer than a megaphone in noisy crowd.

The other thing i will tell you is that right now i am finding myself in a place of practicing the lesson learned from big mistakes made in my past.  And i am trying very hard to listen to the whispers and quiet the interference.  And i'm finding the need to keep listening and to stay so close.

Most Fridays, i make it a habit to spend my lunch hour with my very dear friend and her two small children.  Her daughter, Rachel, is three and a half years old.  Most weeks, we go to McDonalds, and it's my custom to carry Rachel from the car, to the restaurant (not because she can't walk, but because it's a busy parking lot), and on the way. Rachel is often trying to tell me something.  Or everything.  All the exciting things in her three-year-old life come flooding out in quiet, female, three-year-old-ese, syllables, that are very important news for her to share.  All this happens while doors are shut and traffic goes by and other restaurant customers are having their own conversations, and if i don't hold Rachel very very close to my ear, i won't catch everything she's saying.  Sometimes, i won't even realize she's talking if i'm distracted.  And if i want to  catch the whole story, well, since i'm not fluent in her particular small child version of English, i often have to ask questions and get her to repeat things, or ask her mom for interpretation.  But while we're walking, i just have to hold her really close and listen really hard and pay really close attention, while opening and closing doors and dodging traffic and....all that stuff.

Likewise, i'm not entirely fluent in the language of Heaven, though i'm learning.  And there seems to be something wrong with my reception or my antenna, or something.  So i'm trying really hard to stay really close to His mouth, and His heart, so i can hear as much as i can.  While i'm walking through daily life, and going to work, and dodging the media, and all the voices coming to me from everywhere, i have to stay so close.  Because i really want to hear.  And then i'll ask questions to make sure i got the whole story, or as much as i was supposed to get.  I might even have to ask for help from someone else to help me understand what i'm hearing.

1 comment:

  1. Beth, all HE asks of us is to open our hearts and listen. HE knows your listening so HE will make HIMSELF heard to you.

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