I may have mentioned at some point in time about my church situation here in small town, Texas. I was a part of a smallish non-denominational start-up for about three years, until November of last year, when at Sunday morning service, it was announced that this particular group of believers would no longer meet.
I don't want to go into all the details, but this was pretty jolting for me. Jolting enough that this daughter of a preacher man hasn't been in a church building since...not because i now hold a grudge or thing that churches are bad or any of that. Because i was wounded, and i needed time to heal.
I think it is a misconception to think that trusting God to help you forgive requires that you are not allowed to experience the hurt that comes with being wounded. I was and am wounded; i completely forgive those who wounded me; AND it still hurts anyway; and my wound needs healing.
Two weeks ago, i was praying, and i just told God that i know that it's time to find a new group of believers to fellowship with (sorry for all the Christianese, but these are the best terms for this application), and that i need help. The following Friday, i ended up having lunch with a very good friend whom God has used in my life to keep my on the right track, and as is her normal way, she directly addressed me to find out about my current church-going activities or lack, listened non-judgmentally to my situation, and helped me by giving me a non-committal game plan for honoring God and letting Him guide me in the right direction.
So this morning, it is still early on Sunday morning, i have already done my weekend laundry chores, i am showered, and after i publish this post, i am getting dressed and driving to this morning's choice for a place to worship. I am going to worship because i want to honor God, and because it is part of His design that His people experience greater benefit when they worship and study together than when they just as exuberantly worship Him and study His word, only alone. It is what it is, and i am going.
I'll probably let you know how it goes.
Psalm 147:3 ~ He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. ~
Update: It was pretty good.