but first, an explanation.
I have a love for the format of a psalm. I don't know what the literary prescribed format of a psalm is - or if there is such a prescription. But i know what i have observed. And that is that the psalms, as David wrote them, often appear in the form of complaints. Long pity parties on how bad and unbearable the present circumstances overwhelm - is how many psalms begin. The especially long and unbearable psalms continue with whining to God about how He has left then more and more fairly long and annoying lamentations on the hopelessness of everything ...
the sun comes out.
suddenly the psalmist realizes that God does live and that God has proven Himself enough times for the psalmist to know better than to do all this waling. And in spite of all his circumstances, his heart is raised to worship God in faith and confidence that his faithful God will rescue him and cause him to triumph over all of his enemies and his circumstances!
What a turnaround!
And while i sometimes find this metamorphosis a little boring and difficult to read, i find the process to be one of the best kinds of worship. It's not worship because everything is going great. It's not worship because you have seen everything come around for the best and you have already seen the victory over your circumstances.
It is acknowledging that your earthly circumstances look BAD. But that you know your God is BIGGER. And that you choose to worship the conquering God while you're waiting for Him to show you the victory. To me this is a little more - a little more something - because it doesn't ignore the things that humans can't help but see. It acknowledges that this little human is up against something way to big for him and that he's not worried because he know who his God is.
Too long winded?
In any event, as i am not given to whining -- at least not a lot of it -- since when i get started, i start feeling like an idiot and reminding myself about how good i have it -- my psalm won't be as satisfactory as David's. And my psalm is backwards. I have repeatedly become thankful for seemingly unhappy circumstances, which strengthen me, which show me God's provision in ways i wouldn't usually imagine, which keep my mind on Him.
I can't even tell you about my circumstances, because as i remind myself of the goodness and the ever-presence of my very Good God, any circumstance that i earlier thought of as pity-able, fades completely from my conscious. What circumstances? We are so very very blessed. We are provided for in every way. Maybe not traditional ways. But there is no area in which we are for want. And i know that it is because our God is ever present and that even when my mind is too far off, His is not. He does not leave. He does not forsake. He does not cease to love. He is perfect. And worthy of worship far greater than i am capable, or have ever been.
He is good. And His mercy endures forever.
Our God is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. (Psalm 145:8 and Exodus 34)
I am SO glad.