Sunday, January 19, 2014

the gift of clarity

Back in the good ole days when i was occupying my time as a full time wannabefarmer and stay at home wife, i also got to spend some of my time writing as a contributor for an old friend's blog.  The host of the blog presents some sort of opinion question to contributors, and contributors respond.  He called it Six Perspectives.  This was fun for a couple of reasons - it's fun to spar with other folks' opposing opinions, and because i appreciate opportunities to practicing putting my thoughts to paper and honing my writing skills.

One of the reasons i enjoy writing, is that i have noticed that issues and truth become clear to me before my own eyes when i write.  Thoughts that i can't fully realize in my head, make sense when i write them down.  At least they make more sense to me.  And sometimes, it seems like that when i write, truths that i didn't even know, that didn't come from me, appear before my eyes in written form.  I'm not trying to be creepy or anything.  It's just kind of how it feels.

This year, my friend, Jason, the host of the Six Perspectives blog, decided to start up again, and i volunteered to write again, for all the reasons stated above.  The question was, "Whose responsibility is it to care for the poor, the orphans, the widows, and the homeless?"

There wasn't a lot of opinion sparring between the different writers, but for me, there was a personal ta-da moment for my self-awareness in relation to my beliefs.  My conclusion in my little essay, as might be expected, was that it is my own responsibility to care for those who cannot care for themselves, wherever it is in my ability to do so.  And i had a moment of great clarity, where i realized that i have good intentions, rock hard beliefs, and mostly zero actual action.  (Yes, i said, "actual action.")

It is so easy to get caught up in my own ambitions, my humble ambitions, as it were, and forget about what God sees as worth the time i've been given.

Thankfully, i have been given a couple of really good examples of spending our time on earth doing things God sees as worth our time.  Two of these ladies are my friends, and as soon as i started looking for it, i immediately saw some simple ways i could contribute to the efforts of both of them.  And as i proceeded to pursue that end, not because i felt obligated, but because i had begun to see so clearly the importance of storing up our treasures in Heaven and doing so unto the Lord, i found that my mind was suddenly opened to very simple ways to do simple things that could have great impact on my fellow humans.

I am being amazed at the possibilities streaming through my mind, after being freed from just a little bit of my own self-centeredness.  No credit to me, for sure.  NO credit to me.  So thankful today for epiphanies.  For God's removing my fog-headed limitations so i can see a little bit more clearly.  It occurred to me a couple of days ago that i need to try to live a really long time so that i have as much time as possible for God to teach my slow-learning heart the lessons i'm supposed to learn while on this earth.  I'm so glad that God is patient with slow learners like me.

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