I have attempted to write a new entry in this blog a few times since April 8. I have thought about it quite a bit more than that.
I have often envied the consistent writers i observe. But it seems, that this writer requires times of ... what do you call it ... sequester? Something like that.
They say bloggers shouldn't blog about blogging, but. Well, i guess i just don't care. I'm not here for a popularity contest, but i do hope that sometimes God can use my words to give a laugh, a smile, a thought, a comfort, a peace, a wisdom, or a guffah to those who read it. Looks like i spelled that wrong....let's see....that's supposed to be a guffaw? Yes, the lack of squiggly red lines tells me google thinks that's correct.
I think part of my problem isn't really that i don't have anything to say. It's that i have so many things going on in my mind and my heart and my life, that i can't settle on any one thing long enough to explore it. Or at least that's how it feels. And therein lies the paradox. Since sitting down to write is often the one thing that can help me think about a thing long enough to explore it. You see my problem?
It's hard to say whether this post will happen. If it does, you'll know. If it doesn't, you won't.
I have a few minutes this evening, and a thousand thoughts in my heart, so i thought i'd give this writing thing a shot.
Planet Earth is playing on BBC, so i get to look up now and then and see some of the wonders of God's creation. In the other room, i can hear the cheep cheep cheep of tiny chickens struggling out of their shells in my incubator. Since i was thoroughly rained on at 5 o'clock today, and the resulting chill hasn't quite left me, i am snuggled on my couch imagining that it is autumn outside, though this couldn't be further from truth. It is August in Texas, and though we recently received the miracle of 75 degree weather in the middle of the day, it is certainly not autumn yet. We will sweat through many more days before my favorite season arrives this year.
Outside my house, in reality, my chick brooder hold 7 little special needs chicks who hatched late and maybe a little lopsided and couldn't be sold, so they get to stay with me. In the coop, are 22 mostly grown chickens, some old, some just learning to lay eggs, some who don't know they're being fattened up for my freezer. A recently built smokehouse in my backyard has recently smoked some moderately successful homemade (not homegrown) sausage and will be put to use on more successful attempts in the near future. A few posts have begun being sunk for expansion of the chicken operation, an electric pole is being installed for expansion of the people operation. And no, that was definitely not a pregnancy announcement.
For years, my gun-slinging super hero and i have looked forward to the day we would be able to give a home to the children that God has picked out for us to parent, either temporarily or permanently, and we think that we are finally coming to the place in our lives when we will be able to begin the process of finding them. Step one: a house with bedrooms. Very exciting. And a little scary. Besides the part about becoming parents, it has been a long time since i have needed to cope with more than one bedroom. Sounds a little confusing.
That wasn't meant to be an announcement of any sort. These are just some of the things that are on my mind these days. In addition, my gun-slingin super hero is working further from home these days and now i actually have to think about things like what to cook for dinner. That takes up more brain space that i remember. I've been spoiled. For a while.
But i'm remembering my skills, slowly. I made some really good chicken and dumplings the other day, and i'm beginning to develop a system for getting my crock pots - yes that's plural - to work for me while i'm sleeping or away. I have set aside an entire piece of furniture for just crock pots. They're my new friends.
Here's a deep thought for today. Earlier, on Planet Earth, there was a scene from the lives of the wonderful Emperor Penguins, wherein bereaved mother penguins whose babies had been lost to the cold, competed in desperation to parent orphaned penguin babies whose parents had been lost the same way. The urgency to parent was SO strong, the narrator explained in different words and an English accent...
When i saw three bereaved mothers chasing around one cute little penguin baby who wasn't sure what to do about all this attention, i thought about how the drive to parent is strong like this in humans too. And, of course, i cried. Because that's pretty tender stuff. But then i thought about how we're made in God's likeness, and how different elements of our being can be traced back to Him. And i thought about how much easier it would have been for God to just enjoy the beautiful earth and universe, how much less troublesome an eternity would be for the perfect God, without a lot of rebellious humans mucking up paradise and whatnot. And how He created us anyway. And how He loves us intensely. How the desperate love of a mother for her child, is a reflection of the greater love of God, for us.
Hmm. Guess this one's going to get posted.